Message Received
Dear Universal Force, It has come to my attention that you are trying to teach me a lesson. I am well aware that I have been letting the little everyday interruptions of Life get in the way of my...
View ArticleThis is Dedicated to the Ladies Who Pee Thier Pants
This is a tale about urinary incontinence. Excited yet? Ahem. Not long ago I had two girlfriends over for wine and conversation. We shared stories, they demanded I let them look at some of my old...
View ArticleAn Open Letter to the Telemarketers Calling My Home
No offense, but I hate you. Dear Telemarketers, No. That is my answer to whatever it is you are about to ask me. You seal that answer when you call me repeatedly during the dinner hours, when the...
View ArticleAn Open Letter to Good Morning America About Crediting Bloggers for Their Work
Baby Mugging: Created by Ilana Wiles of MommyShorts.com. Dear Good Morning America, I heard that the brilliant Ilana Wiles of Mommy Shorts was contacted by your team to have her viral concept “Baby...
View ArticleOh Boy. Kim’s Going All “REALLY?!” Again.
It has recently been brought to my attention that a smattering of kids in my town that attend the same summer camp as mine do have been bringing iPads and iTouches with them. To the all-day outdoor...
View ArticleAn Open Letter to Miley Cyrus After Her Performance on the 2013 MTV VMAs
Dear Miley Cyrus, I understand that you are legally an adult now, and want to sow your oats/express yourself/get in touch with your sexuality in a public forum to become more memorable as an artist....
View ArticleThank You For Not Smoking And Rubbing It All Over Me
Dear European Wax Center, When a customer asks you politely for a non-smoking eyebrow wax technician for her next appointment, follow through. When you give her the same frickin’ chain-smoking eyebrow...
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A Message for My Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard
Dear Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard, Oh, my sweet pups. You have no idea what you’re talking about. The two of you live with both parents in a lovely home in Suburban...
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